I have a post before this one on how wonderful our Christmas was this year, but it's so terrible how I always procrastinate on writing about the good things and not the bad. It's because writing this blog is a coping mechanism for me. This is why writing when I'm frustrated comes so much easier than when I'm happy. When all is good, I just enjoy the moment and I don't feel the need to record it.
So my therapist gave me a few coping mechanisms to help me with I am under a lot of stress, it's funny because I did most of these things when I was younger, but for whatever reasons, I don't do them anymore.
I'm starting to again. I used to journal when I was younger and of course, there was always more frustrating moments than positive ones. This blogging is really helping me. It helps not only to write my own blog, but also read others. I found a few great one, but my favorite by far is Raising Smart Girls. Casey is very resourceful, intelligent, and a fabulous writer. Besides all that, it seems like she is reading my mind because most of what she says is exactly how I feel about being a mother, both the rewards and internal struggles. She is just a lot more eloquent than I am with her words. Blogging is also helping me over come being so self conscious about my writing. I know I'm have a lot of spelling and grammar error and it seems to take a while for my point to get across, but as my therapist said, no one really cares. They might at the moment they are reading it, but who cares. This is for me! I'm sorry if my writing frustrates you, but it's okay, you get the gist of it.
Raising Smart Girls has tremedously helped me. Both with resources and my state of mind. Casey has given a lot of wonderful suggestions that I'm currently using and plan on using. She also makes me feel normal again, because all my thoughts about motherhood is shared by many others. It's just not something most mothers openly share.
My therapist also suggest dancing to loud music and singing at the top of my lungs. I remember doing both of these things when I was younger. When I used to be extremely stressed out in high school, I remember closing all the windows, turning my stereo up as loud as I could bare it, singing and dancing until whatever was bothering me would go away. Why don't I do that anymore? I should, my daughter would probably enjoy it. I wouldn't turn the stereo up as loud as I used to because it would bother both me and my daughter.
The breathing that she suggested to do is really helping. Taking deep breathes so that I fill my whole body. Also counting my inhalation and exhalation so that I focus on the breathing and not letting my brain wander. I usually do it when I'm putting Faith to sleep. It's usually so stressful for me because she goes to sleep so late, but that's part of my doing and choosing. She only sleeps 10 hours. If she went down early, she would wake up earlier. I'm not a morning person! Don't know how I woke up early to teach all those years. Faith usually sleep at between 10-11 pm. I know it's late, but I can't function before 8 am.
Since all the parties from the holidays and excitement from having Auntie home, she has been sleeping even later than that. Also she has been in our bed so I have to lay with her until she is completely asleep before I can sneak away. Auntie left back to Japan, but Faith is still in our bed because she is still teething. I swear, teething bothers her for months before an actual tooth comes out. She has been screaming in the middle of the night for the last few nights. This means sleep deprivation for me. This is also the reason for my impatience with her today. Besides having a difficult time sleep at night, Faith is also extremely clingy during the day. The best way to describe it is like having a leech on you. I know that is a terrible description, but it's true. She has to either be sitting next to me or held by me or walking with me where ever I go. Yes, even to the bathroom! I love her to death, but I also feeling like she is suffocating me. I know it will pass, she always goes through this cycle when she is not feeling well and when I'm not feeling well. It's so bad, since we are both sensitive, we feed off each other, in positive and negative ways. Thank goodness we only have two more molars to go.
My husband is so wonderful and he is going to sleep with Faith tonight so that I can have a night of restful sleep. I've sent him into her room so that he can get adequate rest for work. Tonight it's my turn. I'm also going to try the TempurPedic pillow husband got me for Christmas. Beside sleeping with her tonight, he got a bath ready for me after I put Faith to bed, with candles and the heater going in case the bathroom was too cold. I was too stressed to put Faith to bed because she does pick up on my mood which usually aggravates the situation. Daddy had to carry her and walk her around for a bit. She feel asleep almost right away on his shoulder because he was a lot more relaxed than I was tonight. It's wonderful how only one of us is frustrated with her at time. This way we are able to calm each other down. Usually it's daddy calming me down. He doesn't get worked up by much. Thank goodness for that. He is an incredible man! Faith and I are extremely lucky girls.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wonderful Christmas
I don't know why it's taken me so long to finish this post. This will be my third and final attempt.
The whole family had a wonderful Christmas this year! Faith wasn't her full self because she is still teething, but she still had a wonderful time with our family and friends and of course, opening lots of gifts.
We started the holidays with a party at our friends house. I was a little weary at first because this is a house that doesn't have kids so we made sure to bring some of her books and toys with us. It took her a little bit of time to adjust at first but she warmed up really quickly. She went up and down the stairs with the other kids, had a great time looking at all the ornaments and Christmas decorations on their tree, and watching daddy and the guys play the Wii. Half way through the night we had to give her her binky (pacifier) because it started to get pretty loud and crowded at the house. One of the other mommy brought a Disney movie so that kept her occupied for a while. The cute thing she said that night was when we were about to have the gift exchange, I told her that we were about to open presents and she asked, "Is it Christmas already?" So cute. I've been telling her for weeks that she couldn't peek at her presents because it wasn't Christmas yet. I had to tell her that this was an exception.
Our second party was at one of the family that we met at our mommy's group. Most of her friends from the group was there. She did a great job playing by herself. I think she was a lot more comfortable with this group of adults because she is used to being around them. Also, they had a whole play room just for the kiddos. Considering how many kids there were in the room, they were all pretty tamed. I took her by myself to the party so that daddy can rest and usually when it's just me, she is extra clingy, but this time she was independently playing for most of the night. It was nice to be able to have adult conversation without a whining clinging toddler on me.
That was a busy weekend because the next day we had a wedding reception and then our long drive to Disneyland. Faith did okay at the reception. Luckily it was at a restaurant where there was an area for her to run around outside the restaurant. Refer to the "what a difference a year makes" for our Disneyland trip.
We made a great decision this year and moved our immediate family Christmas dinner to Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve. We usually have back to back dinner on Christmas Eve and it's just too hectic and too much food for one day that we end up not enjoying it as much as we should. This year, we finally got smarter! We went to my Uncle's house in Newark to have dinner with my extended family. It took Faith awhile to warm up. She doesn't see the family often enough for her to quickly warm up to them. The first hour she spent attached to me. Once she warmed up, she had a great time playing with her uncles and aunties. Of course, her favorite time is opening presents and then playing with everything.
My husband and I agreed that this was one of the best Christmas. The whole family slept in. We opened presents in our pajamas. Once again, Faith is extremely spoiled and got more than she needs. One of her favorite present is a bounce house from Grandma. Of course, we set it up right after we finished with presents. She loved it! It's big enough for me to jump with her as well. We spent most of our morning in it. She even had her snack in there. Then it was nap time. Faith and I both went down for a nap. The biggest reason it was so relaxing this year was because my mother in law did most of the cooking. Thank goodness for her. She is an incredible woman and I'm so grateful for such a wonderful mother in law. The only traditional food items we did this year was the ham and mashed potatoes. My mother in law made eggrolls and Vietnamese salad. We had a wonderful dinner and then we decided to go to the drive in to watch Princess and the Frog. We thought the movie was okay, but we enjoyed the experience.
Our last party for this holiday season was at our friend's house in Sacramento. I've been friends with most of these people since high school. It's wonderful how we have kept in touch for this long. It's also great that we every couple, but one has children. For the most part, Faith had a great time. I felt really bad because prior to going up, I told her that this was the house with the school bus. They have this awesome school bus that Faith loves to play with every time we are there. Except, I didn't know that they sold it. First thing she ask when we walked in was, "Where is the school bus?" She remembers things from months ago, let alone just two hours, so I wasn't surprise. She was really disappointed, but she survived. Luckily daddy is so much fun and was playing bear and bear cave with her and the other kids. I really appreciate my husband so much more at parties because he alway plays with her so that I get a chance to eat, relax, and catch up with my friends. He's also really popular with the other kids. Yet once again, she had a great time opening her present. Yes, she is a little spoiled. Okay, a lot spoiled. I think I'm living vaciously through her because I didn't have all that I wanted as a child.
It was a wonderful and stressful Christmas this year. It was great having Auntie home this year. She wasn't able to make it home last year and the holidays just isn't the same without her. Can't wait for next Christmas. It's mine and now, Faith's favorite time of year.
The whole family had a wonderful Christmas this year! Faith wasn't her full self because she is still teething, but she still had a wonderful time with our family and friends and of course, opening lots of gifts.
We started the holidays with a party at our friends house. I was a little weary at first because this is a house that doesn't have kids so we made sure to bring some of her books and toys with us. It took her a little bit of time to adjust at first but she warmed up really quickly. She went up and down the stairs with the other kids, had a great time looking at all the ornaments and Christmas decorations on their tree, and watching daddy and the guys play the Wii. Half way through the night we had to give her her binky (pacifier) because it started to get pretty loud and crowded at the house. One of the other mommy brought a Disney movie so that kept her occupied for a while. The cute thing she said that night was when we were about to have the gift exchange, I told her that we were about to open presents and she asked, "Is it Christmas already?" So cute. I've been telling her for weeks that she couldn't peek at her presents because it wasn't Christmas yet. I had to tell her that this was an exception.
Our second party was at one of the family that we met at our mommy's group. Most of her friends from the group was there. She did a great job playing by herself. I think she was a lot more comfortable with this group of adults because she is used to being around them. Also, they had a whole play room just for the kiddos. Considering how many kids there were in the room, they were all pretty tamed. I took her by myself to the party so that daddy can rest and usually when it's just me, she is extra clingy, but this time she was independently playing for most of the night. It was nice to be able to have adult conversation without a whining clinging toddler on me.
That was a busy weekend because the next day we had a wedding reception and then our long drive to Disneyland. Faith did okay at the reception. Luckily it was at a restaurant where there was an area for her to run around outside the restaurant. Refer to the "what a difference a year makes" for our Disneyland trip.
We made a great decision this year and moved our immediate family Christmas dinner to Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve. We usually have back to back dinner on Christmas Eve and it's just too hectic and too much food for one day that we end up not enjoying it as much as we should. This year, we finally got smarter! We went to my Uncle's house in Newark to have dinner with my extended family. It took Faith awhile to warm up. She doesn't see the family often enough for her to quickly warm up to them. The first hour she spent attached to me. Once she warmed up, she had a great time playing with her uncles and aunties. Of course, her favorite time is opening presents and then playing with everything.
My husband and I agreed that this was one of the best Christmas. The whole family slept in. We opened presents in our pajamas. Once again, Faith is extremely spoiled and got more than she needs. One of her favorite present is a bounce house from Grandma. Of course, we set it up right after we finished with presents. She loved it! It's big enough for me to jump with her as well. We spent most of our morning in it. She even had her snack in there. Then it was nap time. Faith and I both went down for a nap. The biggest reason it was so relaxing this year was because my mother in law did most of the cooking. Thank goodness for her. She is an incredible woman and I'm so grateful for such a wonderful mother in law. The only traditional food items we did this year was the ham and mashed potatoes. My mother in law made eggrolls and Vietnamese salad. We had a wonderful dinner and then we decided to go to the drive in to watch Princess and the Frog. We thought the movie was okay, but we enjoyed the experience.
Our last party for this holiday season was at our friend's house in Sacramento. I've been friends with most of these people since high school. It's wonderful how we have kept in touch for this long. It's also great that we every couple, but one has children. For the most part, Faith had a great time. I felt really bad because prior to going up, I told her that this was the house with the school bus. They have this awesome school bus that Faith loves to play with every time we are there. Except, I didn't know that they sold it. First thing she ask when we walked in was, "Where is the school bus?" She remembers things from months ago, let alone just two hours, so I wasn't surprise. She was really disappointed, but she survived. Luckily daddy is so much fun and was playing bear and bear cave with her and the other kids. I really appreciate my husband so much more at parties because he alway plays with her so that I get a chance to eat, relax, and catch up with my friends. He's also really popular with the other kids. Yet once again, she had a great time opening her present. Yes, she is a little spoiled. Okay, a lot spoiled. I think I'm living vaciously through her because I didn't have all that I wanted as a child.
It was a wonderful and stressful Christmas this year. It was great having Auntie home this year. She wasn't able to make it home last year and the holidays just isn't the same without her. Can't wait for next Christmas. It's mine and now, Faith's favorite time of year.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Bizarre Behaviors
It's 1:32am and I can't get myself back to sleep. Faith woke up again in one of her crying fit. Not sure what's wrong. When she is like this, we can't get her to tell us what's bothering her. I think she is teething and I should have given her some Tylenol before bed.
I had her in our bed tonight. She started having a running nose at the playdate today, but she didn't have a temperature, so I'm figuring she's teething. She didn't look so good and she was congested so I figured it's just easier to have her sleep with her from the beginning versus waking me up at three when she wanders into our room. She has been wandering in around three for the last few days. Actually she has been coming in every day since we have been back from Disneyland. It's our post traveling adjustment time, plus Auntie is here. Faith is so sensitive to noise when she is sleeping and although Auntie is not loud, she still wakes up when she hears the slightest noise from downstairs.
She just sat up crying and I asked her what was bothering her, but she continued to cry. So I got up and held her to try to calm her down. I was successful at first, but then I told her that I had to go pee and that I would set her down for just a second. This just got her so upset and she starting crying louder. I decided to take her to the bathroom with me because I had to pee badly. I sat her on the stool as she continued crying. She lost her pacifier for a second and cried louder until I finally finished and scoped her up to walk her around. We used to do this a lot when she was a baby. I was successful in calming her down, but now instead of peacefully sleeping, I'm up writing this post. I figured writing my feelings down will calm me down enough to get me back to sleep. My therapist says that writing in a journal is just as good as going to therapy. Let's see if she is right.
Faith has been acting bizarre lately. I think it's a combination of teething and having Auntie around. She loves her Auntie and I'm so glad that Auntie came home to visit from Japan. She is here for two weeks and will be leaving on Sunday. I'm sure it's going to be rough for Faith then. It's so cute how she follows her Auntie around and hangs on every word that Auntie says. She idolize her and it's so cute to see their interaction. Faith doesn't get attach too many people so it's wonderful to see her attach to someone else beside myself. However because she is so attach, she wouldn't even eat when Auntie is around. She runs around like crazy and acts really silly. It's like she is putting on a show for Auntie. Also when Auntie's friends come around, she is even more intense.
The other night, she had three grown adults playing ring around the Rosie's and spinning around on the floor. It was the funniest sight. It was great for my husband and I to watch because she rarely acts like this in front of other people besides us. After calming from our laughing fit, my husband made a comment that made me reflect. He said, "it's great to watch her, but makes me realize how exhausting it is to take care of her." She does require a lot of our energy and we go out of our way to out of our way to entertain her.
All this adult interaction is making her forget how to play with kids her age. During the last two playdates, she has been really withdrawn. I think it's just been so overwhelming for her. Instead of playing with the other kids, she just wants her binky and lay with her head on my lap. At yesterdays playdate, she wanted to just watch tv while her friends were all playing. I used to fight this behavior, but now I let her do it because I know she needs to. I used to feel embarrassed that she wouldn't play with everyone else, but I'm get better at accept her for her. I'm not going to push her if she's not ready. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't continue to encourage her to play, but it helps not to feel ashamed and making her feel bad for it as well.
It's going to be interesting to see how she is when Auntie leaves back to Japan. It will be a future post.
I had her in our bed tonight. She started having a running nose at the playdate today, but she didn't have a temperature, so I'm figuring she's teething. She didn't look so good and she was congested so I figured it's just easier to have her sleep with her from the beginning versus waking me up at three when she wanders into our room. She has been wandering in around three for the last few days. Actually she has been coming in every day since we have been back from Disneyland. It's our post traveling adjustment time, plus Auntie is here. Faith is so sensitive to noise when she is sleeping and although Auntie is not loud, she still wakes up when she hears the slightest noise from downstairs.
She just sat up crying and I asked her what was bothering her, but she continued to cry. So I got up and held her to try to calm her down. I was successful at first, but then I told her that I had to go pee and that I would set her down for just a second. This just got her so upset and she starting crying louder. I decided to take her to the bathroom with me because I had to pee badly. I sat her on the stool as she continued crying. She lost her pacifier for a second and cried louder until I finally finished and scoped her up to walk her around. We used to do this a lot when she was a baby. I was successful in calming her down, but now instead of peacefully sleeping, I'm up writing this post. I figured writing my feelings down will calm me down enough to get me back to sleep. My therapist says that writing in a journal is just as good as going to therapy. Let's see if she is right.
Faith has been acting bizarre lately. I think it's a combination of teething and having Auntie around. She loves her Auntie and I'm so glad that Auntie came home to visit from Japan. She is here for two weeks and will be leaving on Sunday. I'm sure it's going to be rough for Faith then. It's so cute how she follows her Auntie around and hangs on every word that Auntie says. She idolize her and it's so cute to see their interaction. Faith doesn't get attach too many people so it's wonderful to see her attach to someone else beside myself. However because she is so attach, she wouldn't even eat when Auntie is around. She runs around like crazy and acts really silly. It's like she is putting on a show for Auntie. Also when Auntie's friends come around, she is even more intense.
The other night, she had three grown adults playing ring around the Rosie's and spinning around on the floor. It was the funniest sight. It was great for my husband and I to watch because she rarely acts like this in front of other people besides us. After calming from our laughing fit, my husband made a comment that made me reflect. He said, "it's great to watch her, but makes me realize how exhausting it is to take care of her." She does require a lot of our energy and we go out of our way to out of our way to entertain her.
All this adult interaction is making her forget how to play with kids her age. During the last two playdates, she has been really withdrawn. I think it's just been so overwhelming for her. Instead of playing with the other kids, she just wants her binky and lay with her head on my lap. At yesterdays playdate, she wanted to just watch tv while her friends were all playing. I used to fight this behavior, but now I let her do it because I know she needs to. I used to feel embarrassed that she wouldn't play with everyone else, but I'm get better at accept her for her. I'm not going to push her if she's not ready. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't continue to encourage her to play, but it helps not to feel ashamed and making her feel bad for it as well.
It's going to be interesting to see how she is when Auntie leaves back to Japan. It will be a future post.
Friday, December 18, 2009
What a difference a year make
The first time went to Disneyland with Faith was right before her first birthday. This was totally a different trip than last time.
First of all, we made the whole drive down to Anaheim without having to clean up any vomit. We weren't sure what happened the last time, but right when we got to the Harris Ranch area, Faith started coughing and then vomited all over her car seat. Of course, we didn't realize at that point the air outside wouldn't be any fresher. She vomited almost every night for the whole week trip. However, she was great during the day. Not sure what that was all about, but since she had so much fun during the day, we just kept on going.
On the first time, we actually stayed in Santa Monica and did a lot. We went to Disneyland, Fashion District, Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica's Farmer Market, Los Angeles Zoo, Getty Museum, and Third Street Promenade. This time we only went to Disneyland. Since she was older, we figured there was more she can do. Even with two and a half days, it wasn't enough. Most nights, she asked to go back to the hotel. It was fun but also exhausting for her because she was taking everything in. She's like her daddy, not a fan of crowds. Also, being more aware, she was afraid of most of the rides, but she did enjoy some aspects of it. It was either too dark, too loud, or there was some component that scared her. We did push her comfort zone a little, because we wanted to let her know that we were there with her and it would be okay. We knew Pirates of the Caribbean would be a little scary, she did spent most of the ride hidden in my arms, but she survived and did like some parts of the ride.
Although it was a tiring trip for her, she had so many memorable moments. Her favorite by far was the Princess breakfast at Ariel's Grotto in California Theme Park. We went on the second day of our trip. She was excited all morning because she knew she was going to meet the princesses. We arrived at the Park before it opened so we got to do the count down, that was fun. After making our way through the park and finding the restaurant, she was bursting with excitement. We were greeted by Ariel and got to take a picture with her. Faith still needed some time to warm up so we did a family shot with Ariel. Then the waiter took us to our table and gave Faith a crown and some stickers to decorate her crown. After they brought out our yummy spread. We had a variety of fruit, cheeses, and bread. Then we got some eggs, bacon, potatoes, and waffles with berries and whipped cream. We requested for some extra blue berries, since they are Faith's favorite. They gave her a generous portion and she finished most of it on her own, of course, she had to dip it in whipped cream. The whole time we were eating, she kept asking where the rest of the princesses would come. We told her to be patient, I'm sure you understand, that was hard for her to do.
They gave us a adequate amount of time to finish our breakfast before the first princess came out. Snow White made her appearance at last. Faith was so excited, that was the end of her eating. She kept looking around anticipating Snow White's visit to our table. When Snow White finally made it to our table, Faith was beside herself. She was so excited, but still not ready to take a picture with Snow White alone. Daddy did get one great shot, but he was so star struck himself that he forgot to take more pictures. Snow White signaled to him to snap the camera, but he thought she was waving hi to him. I had to remind him to continuously take pictures. He did a better job when Aurora arrived. She likes most of the princess, but it wasn't until Cinderella came out that she was truly in heaven. You should have seen the look on her face when they introduced Cinderella. Her expression was priceless. It was worth every penny we paid for that breakfast. Cinderella was by far the friendliness princess. Faith told her that she was her favorite princess and she asked Faith what her name was. After Faith told her, she called Faith, Princess Faith. Faith was just glowing after that. She asked Faith how old she was and if she was enjoying herself. Faith was so comfortable with her and even let Cinderella hold her for a picture. That was the first time in the whole trip that she was willing to take a picture by herself with one of the character. She also took a picture with Belle by herself afterward, but she wasn't as comfortable as she was with Cinderella. She asked if anyone else was coming out and when we got the princess button she looked at it and said that we didn't get to see Jasmine. We told her that Jasmine wasn't able to make it to the breakfast this time. After the whole event, she was still bursting with excitement.
This lead to the second memorable time. We were heading back to the hotel for her to take a nap after we saw the princesses and rode on a few rides at the California themed park, Faith noticed that we were walked to the bus station, she jumped out of the stroller, started walking back toward the park, and crying. It was such a sad, but cute moment. We had to talk her down and convince her that we will return to the park after her nap.
The Holiday parade and the rides are also memorable for her. She loved the parade so much that we decided to watch both nights. She loved see all the characters, especially Mickey, Minnie, all the Princesses, and the Seven dwarfs. Her favorite rides was the Winnie the Pooh and Dumbo ride. We rode on both of them twice. She also liked the Tea Cup ride because we kept screaming when she turned the cup.
Beside the Princess Breakfast, I think her favorite aspect of the trip was our hotel room. We stayed at the Hilton, about a 15 minutes walk to the park. We got a free upgrade to the studio and it was perfect for her. She had plenty of room to run around. They also had a little fridge in the room and she loved opening and closing it. She also enjoying drawing on the little post it notes from the hotel and putting the notes into the fridge. It was hilarious to watch her. She would draw a picture, run to the fridge, put it in, and then run back after a while to take it out. She did this over and over for three days and never got tired of it. She loved the hotel so much that every night, after she was exhausted from the park she would request to go back to the hotel. It was so cute when we were about 2 hours from home, she started crying and begging for us to go back to the hotel. We had to promise her we would return for her birthday for her to calm down.
Although it was a tiring trip for all of us because we don't sleep very well when she sleeps on the bed with us, all the walking, and me not feeling 100%, I'm so glad we were able to make to take this family vacation. She had such a wonderful time and we are so excited to have season passes to Disneyland, we can't wait to come back for her birthday. Hopefully she will overcome some of her fears in the next five months and enjoy more of the rides.
First of all, we made the whole drive down to Anaheim without having to clean up any vomit. We weren't sure what happened the last time, but right when we got to the Harris Ranch area, Faith started coughing and then vomited all over her car seat. Of course, we didn't realize at that point the air outside wouldn't be any fresher. She vomited almost every night for the whole week trip. However, she was great during the day. Not sure what that was all about, but since she had so much fun during the day, we just kept on going.
On the first time, we actually stayed in Santa Monica and did a lot. We went to Disneyland, Fashion District, Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica's Farmer Market, Los Angeles Zoo, Getty Museum, and Third Street Promenade. This time we only went to Disneyland. Since she was older, we figured there was more she can do. Even with two and a half days, it wasn't enough. Most nights, she asked to go back to the hotel. It was fun but also exhausting for her because she was taking everything in. She's like her daddy, not a fan of crowds. Also, being more aware, she was afraid of most of the rides, but she did enjoy some aspects of it. It was either too dark, too loud, or there was some component that scared her. We did push her comfort zone a little, because we wanted to let her know that we were there with her and it would be okay. We knew Pirates of the Caribbean would be a little scary, she did spent most of the ride hidden in my arms, but she survived and did like some parts of the ride.
Although it was a tiring trip for her, she had so many memorable moments. Her favorite by far was the Princess breakfast at Ariel's Grotto in California Theme Park. We went on the second day of our trip. She was excited all morning because she knew she was going to meet the princesses. We arrived at the Park before it opened so we got to do the count down, that was fun. After making our way through the park and finding the restaurant, she was bursting with excitement. We were greeted by Ariel and got to take a picture with her. Faith still needed some time to warm up so we did a family shot with Ariel. Then the waiter took us to our table and gave Faith a crown and some stickers to decorate her crown. After they brought out our yummy spread. We had a variety of fruit, cheeses, and bread. Then we got some eggs, bacon, potatoes, and waffles with berries and whipped cream. We requested for some extra blue berries, since they are Faith's favorite. They gave her a generous portion and she finished most of it on her own, of course, she had to dip it in whipped cream. The whole time we were eating, she kept asking where the rest of the princesses would come. We told her to be patient, I'm sure you understand, that was hard for her to do.
They gave us a adequate amount of time to finish our breakfast before the first princess came out. Snow White made her appearance at last. Faith was so excited, that was the end of her eating. She kept looking around anticipating Snow White's visit to our table. When Snow White finally made it to our table, Faith was beside herself. She was so excited, but still not ready to take a picture with Snow White alone. Daddy did get one great shot, but he was so star struck himself that he forgot to take more pictures. Snow White signaled to him to snap the camera, but he thought she was waving hi to him. I had to remind him to continuously take pictures. He did a better job when Aurora arrived. She likes most of the princess, but it wasn't until Cinderella came out that she was truly in heaven. You should have seen the look on her face when they introduced Cinderella. Her expression was priceless. It was worth every penny we paid for that breakfast. Cinderella was by far the friendliness princess. Faith told her that she was her favorite princess and she asked Faith what her name was. After Faith told her, she called Faith, Princess Faith. Faith was just glowing after that. She asked Faith how old she was and if she was enjoying herself. Faith was so comfortable with her and even let Cinderella hold her for a picture. That was the first time in the whole trip that she was willing to take a picture by herself with one of the character. She also took a picture with Belle by herself afterward, but she wasn't as comfortable as she was with Cinderella. She asked if anyone else was coming out and when we got the princess button she looked at it and said that we didn't get to see Jasmine. We told her that Jasmine wasn't able to make it to the breakfast this time. After the whole event, she was still bursting with excitement.
This lead to the second memorable time. We were heading back to the hotel for her to take a nap after we saw the princesses and rode on a few rides at the California themed park, Faith noticed that we were walked to the bus station, she jumped out of the stroller, started walking back toward the park, and crying. It was such a sad, but cute moment. We had to talk her down and convince her that we will return to the park after her nap.
The Holiday parade and the rides are also memorable for her. She loved the parade so much that we decided to watch both nights. She loved see all the characters, especially Mickey, Minnie, all the Princesses, and the Seven dwarfs. Her favorite rides was the Winnie the Pooh and Dumbo ride. We rode on both of them twice. She also liked the Tea Cup ride because we kept screaming when she turned the cup.
Beside the Princess Breakfast, I think her favorite aspect of the trip was our hotel room. We stayed at the Hilton, about a 15 minutes walk to the park. We got a free upgrade to the studio and it was perfect for her. She had plenty of room to run around. They also had a little fridge in the room and she loved opening and closing it. She also enjoying drawing on the little post it notes from the hotel and putting the notes into the fridge. It was hilarious to watch her. She would draw a picture, run to the fridge, put it in, and then run back after a while to take it out. She did this over and over for three days and never got tired of it. She loved the hotel so much that every night, after she was exhausted from the park she would request to go back to the hotel. It was so cute when we were about 2 hours from home, she started crying and begging for us to go back to the hotel. We had to promise her we would return for her birthday for her to calm down.
Although it was a tiring trip for all of us because we don't sleep very well when she sleeps on the bed with us, all the walking, and me not feeling 100%, I'm so glad we were able to make to take this family vacation. She had such a wonderful time and we are so excited to have season passes to Disneyland, we can't wait to come back for her birthday. Hopefully she will overcome some of her fears in the next five months and enjoy more of the rides.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Calling all mothers of highly sensitive children
Hi Moms,
Is your child "highly sensitive"? Check out this site for more information: http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm
You can also take a test on there to see if your child is highly sensitive.
This was intended to be a cry out for help. I am in desperate need to find other mothers of highly sensitive children that I can connect with. Others who completely and utterly can understand the struggles and rewards of being a mother of a highly sensitive child.
I love my daughter with all my heart. She is my proudest and greatest accomplishment. However, on most occasions, it's difficult being her mother. I feel like a terrible mother admitting that, but it's true! For most of her life, I felt like an incompetent mother. I listen to all these moms talk about how easy their child is, or how so many things that bother my child, doesn't seem to fade theirs in any way. Honestly, I get really annoyed. I know it's my own issue because I am jealous. I really like to hear when parents are having struggles, because it's true, "misery loves company." It's so awful, but it does make me feel better. In those moments, I don't judge my own parenting style because someone else is having problems. I know this is a horrible way to see things, but the first step to getting past it, is accepting the truth. This has been my truth for almost 2 1/2 years.
My daughter, Faith is highly sensitive and I am wondering if anyone else notice these traits in their child. Before our friend recommend this book, "The Highly Sensitive Child," by Elaine Aron. I used to feel so isolated that my daughter was so "acutely aware" of everything. Until I
started reading this book and it's has brought me so much comfort because I'm not alone.
I'm going to do a list of the senses and how they affect her.
Sight:
-doesn't like extremely bright light
-doesn't like complete darkness
-notices when someone gets a hair cut
-Acutely aware of environment
Sounds:
-doesn't like loud sounds
-loves stories with different voices for different characters or sound affects
Taste:
-doesn't like overly flavored food, especially spicy
-doesn't like her food mixed, if she eats salad, she like the component of her salad separated with the dressing on the side so that she can dip it
-Very picky with her food, depends on texture and taste
Smell:
-doesn't like strong smells
-notices different smells
Touch:
-doesn't like tags on her clothes, I have to cut them all off or she will scratch herself until she bleed
-doesn't like certain fabric; scratchy, hard
-loves to play with my hair, it's her comfort item (Tugs on my hair, anytime she needs comfort)
-very low tolerance for pain; a scratch, a cut, teething, illness (I hoover over her all the time, afraid that she will get hurt or get sick, because it means it will be rough nights in stored for me)
-doesn't like sand in her shoes, at all!
Sensitivity:
-Extremely irritable when she is slightly hunger
-Extremely irritable when she is slightly tried
-Not being with me, she freaks out almost every time I leave, no matter who is with her. She is almost 2 1/2 years and I have never ever been away from her at night. She truly is afraid that I will leave her.
-I was the only one who put her to bed the whole first year. I'm still the primary person. Her daddy can read the stories, but on most occasions, I have to be the one to lay with her
-Acutely aware of other's mood
-Overly worries about things
-Doesn't sleep much
-Sensitive gag reflex
-Stranger anxiety
-Gets bored often
-Wants things a certain way
-Startles easily, we can't scare her, because she will have nightmares that night
-Seems to read your mind
-Very cautious
-Can't cry too much or she throws up
-Very perceptive
-Great sense of humor
Please reach out if you're in the same situation and would like to form a support group. My stress and impatience with my daughter has taken a toll on me mentally and physically. It's almost three years of sleep deprivation and constantly worrying about her. I'm seeing an acupuncturist and a therapist for treatments and strategies. It definitely has been helping, but I think that finding others mothers out there will be a great source of support. You just can't truly understand something until you have experienced it yourself. This blog has also helped me to deal with the difficult night, last night.
Thuan
Is your child "highly sensitive"? Check out this site for more information: http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm
You can also take a test on there to see if your child is highly sensitive.
This was intended to be a cry out for help. I am in desperate need to find other mothers of highly sensitive children that I can connect with. Others who completely and utterly can understand the struggles and rewards of being a mother of a highly sensitive child.
I love my daughter with all my heart. She is my proudest and greatest accomplishment. However, on most occasions, it's difficult being her mother. I feel like a terrible mother admitting that, but it's true! For most of her life, I felt like an incompetent mother. I listen to all these moms talk about how easy their child is, or how so many things that bother my child, doesn't seem to fade theirs in any way. Honestly, I get really annoyed. I know it's my own issue because I am jealous. I really like to hear when parents are having struggles, because it's true, "misery loves company." It's so awful, but it does make me feel better. In those moments, I don't judge my own parenting style because someone else is having problems. I know this is a horrible way to see things, but the first step to getting past it, is accepting the truth. This has been my truth for almost 2 1/2 years.
My daughter, Faith is highly sensitive and I am wondering if anyone else notice these traits in their child. Before our friend recommend this book, "The Highly Sensitive Child," by Elaine Aron. I used to feel so isolated that my daughter was so "acutely aware" of everything. Until I
started reading this book and it's has brought me so much comfort because I'm not alone.
I'm going to do a list of the senses and how they affect her.
Sight:
-doesn't like extremely bright light
-doesn't like complete darkness
-notices when someone gets a hair cut
-Acutely aware of environment
Sounds:
-doesn't like loud sounds
-loves stories with different voices for different characters or sound affects
Taste:
-doesn't like overly flavored food, especially spicy
-doesn't like her food mixed, if she eats salad, she like the component of her salad separated with the dressing on the side so that she can dip it
-Very picky with her food, depends on texture and taste
Smell:
-doesn't like strong smells
-notices different smells
Touch:
-doesn't like tags on her clothes, I have to cut them all off or she will scratch herself until she bleed
-doesn't like certain fabric; scratchy, hard
-loves to play with my hair, it's her comfort item (Tugs on my hair, anytime she needs comfort)
-very low tolerance for pain; a scratch, a cut, teething, illness (I hoover over her all the time, afraid that she will get hurt or get sick, because it means it will be rough nights in stored for me)
-doesn't like sand in her shoes, at all!
Sensitivity:
-Extremely irritable when she is slightly hunger
-Extremely irritable when she is slightly tried
-Not being with me, she freaks out almost every time I leave, no matter who is with her. She is almost 2 1/2 years and I have never ever been away from her at night. She truly is afraid that I will leave her.
-I was the only one who put her to bed the whole first year. I'm still the primary person. Her daddy can read the stories, but on most occasions, I have to be the one to lay with her
-Acutely aware of other's mood
-Overly worries about things
-Doesn't sleep much
-Sensitive gag reflex
-Stranger anxiety
-Gets bored often
-Wants things a certain way
-Startles easily, we can't scare her, because she will have nightmares that night
-Seems to read your mind
-Very cautious
-Can't cry too much or she throws up
-Very perceptive
-Great sense of humor
Please reach out if you're in the same situation and would like to form a support group. My stress and impatience with my daughter has taken a toll on me mentally and physically. It's almost three years of sleep deprivation and constantly worrying about her. I'm seeing an acupuncturist and a therapist for treatments and strategies. It definitely has been helping, but I think that finding others mothers out there will be a great source of support. You just can't truly understand something until you have experienced it yourself. This blog has also helped me to deal with the difficult night, last night.
Thuan
My incredible "Faith"
What an extraordinary child I have! I always tell her that she is the best gift that her father gave me. When she was an baby, I used to ask her, "Who does mommy love most?" and she would pat her own chest. Once she started talking, she would respond, "Faith!"
I know the last blog made being highly sensitive out to be such a negative thing, but it truly isn't. It's just more difficult for a parent with a highly sensitive child, but it's not ever impossible. As they say, the harder the work, the more you reap the benefit. I'm sure "they" don't say it exactly like that, but you get the gist of it.
Faith is truly incredible! I don't know how else to describe her. I know, that I'm a proud parent, but you would just have to meet her to know that she is unique. She has this incredible talent of being able to pick up people's mood, she is so perceptive, caring, thoughtful, kind, intelligent, etc.
She takes in everything around her. Even when you don't think she is listening, she hears you. Most occasions, my husband and I have to spell things out so that she doesn't fully get what we're discussing. Even then, she knows something is up and when ask a million questions.
We have always been able to reason with her since she was a baby. We have always explained everything to her. I used to get stares from strangers when I would give Faith a play by play of our event. It was because we always knew she was listening and taking everything in. As my best friend describes her, "she is very cerebral." It's true, look into her eyes (which are beautiful and by far my favorite physical trait of hers) and you can literally see the wheels turning.
As a baby, it was important that I taught her how to sign, because I needed to give her a way to communicate with me, and indeed she did. At 18 months she was already signing 70 words. This made it a lot easier because she could always sign what she needed and wanted. In that sense, she was always easy. She rarely had tantrums, because through signing, I was always able to give her what she wanted. There wasn't much baby proofing we had to do, because if you told her not to touch something, she didn't. She was and on most occasions, still is, such a great listener.
She is such a gentle soul. I think it helped a lot that she always had Mia around. Mia is my best friend's daughter and they are 4 months apart. You wouldn't know that watching them interact. Faith naturally took on the role of big sister. She is very caring and protective of Mia. I think their relationship has helped her being so sharing as a toddler. She was used to sharing everything, including her momma, with Mia. She has rarely has issues sharing toys with her friends or strangers. We have the occasional moments when it's a really cool toy. However, she is great with taking turns. She knows that after playing with it, she will hand it to the other child and wait patiently to get it back.
Faith is so perceptive with her environment and the people in it. My therapist thinks that she has picked up on how I want her to react to people and that is why she is so concerned, but I truly believe that she is sensitive to other's moods. She always ask if you're okay when she notices that something is wrong. She is more hyper and energetic when she sensing something fun and exciting about to happen. She always knows when to give hugs and kisses, which she doesn't give often so it makes them even more special.
She is extraordinary intelligent. It's not only that she can speak in full and clear sentences, or know all her ABCs and the sounds they make, or count in four languages, or have a wicked memory, but it's the connections she makes. She can take one event and connect it to a completely different circumstance. She continues to stump us with the questions that she ask. I don't know what we're going to do when she gets older because the questions are already too hard for us now. Some times, I just have to tell her, that's just is how it is.
Her creativity never cease to boggle my mind. I would love to take a peek inside her head just for a moment to see all that is going on. Pretend play is her favorite activity. We go on a lot of great adventures. On most occasions it involves her dad and I, but it also includes her friends, some real, but mostly tv characters.
I know they say too much tv is bad, but I swear she has learn so much from it. We usually are watching it together so there is still so much interaction going on. She will ask question about what's going on, or reiterate what just happened, or wonder what will happen next. She also uses the experiences the characters have on the shows to her own life. Any time she encounter something new, she will make reference to the character on which ever particular show who had that same experience. For example, when she first went on a roller coaster ride, she said, it's like Stompy's (for Ni Hao, Kai Lan) roller coaster.
I am truly so proud of her and on most days feel so blessed to be her mommy. Now it's my patience with her sensitivities that I have to work on.
I know the last blog made being highly sensitive out to be such a negative thing, but it truly isn't. It's just more difficult for a parent with a highly sensitive child, but it's not ever impossible. As they say, the harder the work, the more you reap the benefit. I'm sure "they" don't say it exactly like that, but you get the gist of it.
Faith is truly incredible! I don't know how else to describe her. I know, that I'm a proud parent, but you would just have to meet her to know that she is unique. She has this incredible talent of being able to pick up people's mood, she is so perceptive, caring, thoughtful, kind, intelligent, etc.
She takes in everything around her. Even when you don't think she is listening, she hears you. Most occasions, my husband and I have to spell things out so that she doesn't fully get what we're discussing. Even then, she knows something is up and when ask a million questions.
We have always been able to reason with her since she was a baby. We have always explained everything to her. I used to get stares from strangers when I would give Faith a play by play of our event. It was because we always knew she was listening and taking everything in. As my best friend describes her, "she is very cerebral." It's true, look into her eyes (which are beautiful and by far my favorite physical trait of hers) and you can literally see the wheels turning.
As a baby, it was important that I taught her how to sign, because I needed to give her a way to communicate with me, and indeed she did. At 18 months she was already signing 70 words. This made it a lot easier because she could always sign what she needed and wanted. In that sense, she was always easy. She rarely had tantrums, because through signing, I was always able to give her what she wanted. There wasn't much baby proofing we had to do, because if you told her not to touch something, she didn't. She was and on most occasions, still is, such a great listener.
She is such a gentle soul. I think it helped a lot that she always had Mia around. Mia is my best friend's daughter and they are 4 months apart. You wouldn't know that watching them interact. Faith naturally took on the role of big sister. She is very caring and protective of Mia. I think their relationship has helped her being so sharing as a toddler. She was used to sharing everything, including her momma, with Mia. She has rarely has issues sharing toys with her friends or strangers. We have the occasional moments when it's a really cool toy. However, she is great with taking turns. She knows that after playing with it, she will hand it to the other child and wait patiently to get it back.
Faith is so perceptive with her environment and the people in it. My therapist thinks that she has picked up on how I want her to react to people and that is why she is so concerned, but I truly believe that she is sensitive to other's moods. She always ask if you're okay when she notices that something is wrong. She is more hyper and energetic when she sensing something fun and exciting about to happen. She always knows when to give hugs and kisses, which she doesn't give often so it makes them even more special.
She is extraordinary intelligent. It's not only that she can speak in full and clear sentences, or know all her ABCs and the sounds they make, or count in four languages, or have a wicked memory, but it's the connections she makes. She can take one event and connect it to a completely different circumstance. She continues to stump us with the questions that she ask. I don't know what we're going to do when she gets older because the questions are already too hard for us now. Some times, I just have to tell her, that's just is how it is.
Her creativity never cease to boggle my mind. I would love to take a peek inside her head just for a moment to see all that is going on. Pretend play is her favorite activity. We go on a lot of great adventures. On most occasions it involves her dad and I, but it also includes her friends, some real, but mostly tv characters.
I know they say too much tv is bad, but I swear she has learn so much from it. We usually are watching it together so there is still so much interaction going on. She will ask question about what's going on, or reiterate what just happened, or wonder what will happen next. She also uses the experiences the characters have on the shows to her own life. Any time she encounter something new, she will make reference to the character on which ever particular show who had that same experience. For example, when she first went on a roller coaster ride, she said, it's like Stompy's (for Ni Hao, Kai Lan) roller coaster.
I am truly so proud of her and on most days feel so blessed to be her mommy. Now it's my patience with her sensitivities that I have to work on.
From the beginning
December 13, 2009
It's 6:30 in the morning the day before we are heading to Disneyland and instead of sleeping, I've decided to start a blog. I previously decided to reach out to other highly sensitive moms and see if I can form a support group for moms of highly sensitive children. This decision was made while I was trying to go back to sleep from Faith waking us up again.
My daughter is 2, she will be turning 2 1/2 at the end of the month. Even as an infant, I knew she was unique. I love that she was different and I can true appreciate it, because I have always felt different. After our friend recommended the book, "The Highly Sensitive Child," by Elaine H. Aron (http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm), I decided to get a copy for myself. While reading this book, I felt both relieved and terrified. First, I finally realized that my daughter is "highly sensitive." Secondly, I discovered that I am "highly sensitive" as well. This is why my daughter and I have such a strong bond. She is a momma's girl, always has been and hopefully, always will be.
I can kill two birds with one stone with this blog. I wanted to write a message to all the mommies I know and hopefully get to know out there who are in similar situations as I am. This will be a great place to invite this mommies to, as we share our experiences and exchange strategies that can help our highly sensitive child(ren). It will also be such an outlet for me to share my feelings with people who truly understand.
For most of Faith's life, I have felt like a terrible mother. Lots of anger and then accompanying guilt for the anger. I would constantly compare myself to other mothers and compare her to other children her age. I started going to a mommy support group when Faith was three weeks old. In this group, I meet some amazing mothers. Some of whom, I still very close with. It was great having a group where everyone was going through about the same thing, around the same time. We also had discussion boards where we can share experiences, ask questions, and get help from one another. The discussion boards were great at first for me, but after awhile, reading them made me angry and sad. I felt totally incompetent compare to some of these moms, who knew all the answers to their child's tantrums, who's child slept through the night, who's child ate everything, etc. I know that my anger has nothing to do with them, but more of my jealously because my child wasn't like that.
My husband and I knew that Faith was unique when she was a newborn. When her eyes were open, you knew that she was taking in everything around her. She was always been acutely aware of everything. "Acutely aware" was the words I always used to describe her before I found the term highly sensitive.
I remember feeling comfortable as a parent in Faith's first month of life, although we were sleep deprived, adrenaline was kicking in, so we felt great. If you are a parent, you know that all they need at that point is to be fed, changed, and held and they're good. It wasn't until Faith's second month, that all our confidence shattered. On the day of her second month, was when the projectile vomiting started. I don't mean, "spit up!" We didn't know how it was humanly possible for a newborn to even have that much stored in her little tummy. That was probably why it always came up. We are at a point where she was throwing up after every meal. I breastfeed her until she was nine months, and in that time period, I wore vomit quite often. We had all our sofa lines with extra large towels (at least they match with the couch) and thank goodness she was good to always vomit on the towels or the hard wood floor. On some occasions she would get the carpet, and that was never a fun experience. It's been two years and we still have vomit stains on our carpet.
Also around this time, the colicky started. She would be fine all day and then around, 4pm, she would scream for hours. We tried everything from holding her, to swinging her, to downloading white noise, to swaddling, and the only thing would work would be the vacuum cleaner. Yup! It was so loud, but it was the only thing that kept her from scream at the top of her lungs. I'm surprise that vacuum didn't break.
At four months she started to have stranger anxiety and would only let her "select four" hold her. That was me, my husband, my mom, and my mother-in-law. Some of our family and friends didn't understand this and insist on taking her from our arms. Of course, she would start screaming and then I would swoop in like the over protective mother, that I had become to save her. Knowing what I know now, I'm so glad I listened to my mother instinct and came to her aid.
Faith had very few moments of sleeping through the night in her two years of life. That means that I haven't slept well since before I was pregnant with her. That's more than three years of sleep deprivation. It is why my body is failing me now. I know part I have to take responsibility for some of it. For instance there have been many moments where I could be sleeping, but instead, I am up writing in a blog. I guess, I felt that she I have to give some much of myself all day to her, that when she is asleep, it's finally my time to do the things I enjoy, such as watching television, checking on my Facebook, working on my business, www.onelilsnap.com, etc. I know it frustrates my husband, but he just doesn't understand how important this time is for me. It's truly the differences between my sanity and as my friend says, "slitting my wrist."
Faith generally only sleep 10 hours at night and take a 1.5-3 hours nap. Everything related to sleep in a struggle in our household. The process of getting ready to go to bed, the selection of stories for the night, the made up story time, when lights go out, how she gets to sleep, etc. It is getting easier now that she is a little older, but it isn't as effortless as most of this parents, where then can read to their child, give them a kiss and say "goodnight, I love you, see you in the morning," walk out and there child is soundly asleep in about 10-15 minutes. Even in my wildest imagination, I can't see that happening for us.
We have tried so many different arrangements for sleep, since crying it out is not an option for us. Remember, vomiting, well, my daughter has the super power of vomiting when she cries too long. There are still nasty stains her bed, that no matter what, we can't get out. I have slept on a separate mattress in her room, slept with her on that mattress, slept with her in our room, slept with her on the couch while the tv is on, etc. She always sleep better when she sleeps with me, but the problem is, I can't sleep with her. I am so acutely aware of her when I'm next to her. I wake up from every stir and sounds she makes. The worst part is that she used to tug on my hair. I was her comfort item. Most kids have teddy bears or blankies, my daughter had my hair. When ever she needed comfort, she would tug on my hair. It wasn't a big deal when she was a baby, it was actually so cute, that's why I let her do it in the first place, but as she got older and stronger, it would hurt so much. Thank you to my wonderful husband, we finally just broke that habit. Occasionally she would still want to do it, but we have to remind her she couldn't pull. She is allowed to caresses my head.
It seems like any time we got a method down for sleep and she would go ten hours, something always interrupted it. Either teething, which I swears last for a few months for each tooth, or illness, or nightmares, or travel. She is so sensitive to everything that the smallest thing that isn't noticed by other children, bothers her so much that it would disrupt her sleep. For example, she still has to wear a onesie to bed because if she doesn't, when she moves in her sleep with her diaper, it rubs her funny and she will wake up screaming.
I know it seems like it's all negative, but being highly sensitive isn't all bad. She is such an amazing child and I'll spend the next post on that.
Sorry it's so long, I'm a rambler, once I get started, I don't know how to end things.
It's 6:30 in the morning the day before we are heading to Disneyland and instead of sleeping, I've decided to start a blog. I previously decided to reach out to other highly sensitive moms and see if I can form a support group for moms of highly sensitive children. This decision was made while I was trying to go back to sleep from Faith waking us up again.
My daughter is 2, she will be turning 2 1/2 at the end of the month. Even as an infant, I knew she was unique. I love that she was different and I can true appreciate it, because I have always felt different. After our friend recommended the book, "The Highly Sensitive Child," by Elaine H. Aron (http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm), I decided to get a copy for myself. While reading this book, I felt both relieved and terrified. First, I finally realized that my daughter is "highly sensitive." Secondly, I discovered that I am "highly sensitive" as well. This is why my daughter and I have such a strong bond. She is a momma's girl, always has been and hopefully, always will be.
I can kill two birds with one stone with this blog. I wanted to write a message to all the mommies I know and hopefully get to know out there who are in similar situations as I am. This will be a great place to invite this mommies to, as we share our experiences and exchange strategies that can help our highly sensitive child(ren). It will also be such an outlet for me to share my feelings with people who truly understand.
For most of Faith's life, I have felt like a terrible mother. Lots of anger and then accompanying guilt for the anger. I would constantly compare myself to other mothers and compare her to other children her age. I started going to a mommy support group when Faith was three weeks old. In this group, I meet some amazing mothers. Some of whom, I still very close with. It was great having a group where everyone was going through about the same thing, around the same time. We also had discussion boards where we can share experiences, ask questions, and get help from one another. The discussion boards were great at first for me, but after awhile, reading them made me angry and sad. I felt totally incompetent compare to some of these moms, who knew all the answers to their child's tantrums, who's child slept through the night, who's child ate everything, etc. I know that my anger has nothing to do with them, but more of my jealously because my child wasn't like that.
My husband and I knew that Faith was unique when she was a newborn. When her eyes were open, you knew that she was taking in everything around her. She was always been acutely aware of everything. "Acutely aware" was the words I always used to describe her before I found the term highly sensitive.
I remember feeling comfortable as a parent in Faith's first month of life, although we were sleep deprived, adrenaline was kicking in, so we felt great. If you are a parent, you know that all they need at that point is to be fed, changed, and held and they're good. It wasn't until Faith's second month, that all our confidence shattered. On the day of her second month, was when the projectile vomiting started. I don't mean, "spit up!" We didn't know how it was humanly possible for a newborn to even have that much stored in her little tummy. That was probably why it always came up. We are at a point where she was throwing up after every meal. I breastfeed her until she was nine months, and in that time period, I wore vomit quite often. We had all our sofa lines with extra large towels (at least they match with the couch) and thank goodness she was good to always vomit on the towels or the hard wood floor. On some occasions she would get the carpet, and that was never a fun experience. It's been two years and we still have vomit stains on our carpet.
Also around this time, the colicky started. She would be fine all day and then around, 4pm, she would scream for hours. We tried everything from holding her, to swinging her, to downloading white noise, to swaddling, and the only thing would work would be the vacuum cleaner. Yup! It was so loud, but it was the only thing that kept her from scream at the top of her lungs. I'm surprise that vacuum didn't break.
At four months she started to have stranger anxiety and would only let her "select four" hold her. That was me, my husband, my mom, and my mother-in-law. Some of our family and friends didn't understand this and insist on taking her from our arms. Of course, she would start screaming and then I would swoop in like the over protective mother, that I had become to save her. Knowing what I know now, I'm so glad I listened to my mother instinct and came to her aid.
Faith had very few moments of sleeping through the night in her two years of life. That means that I haven't slept well since before I was pregnant with her. That's more than three years of sleep deprivation. It is why my body is failing me now. I know part I have to take responsibility for some of it. For instance there have been many moments where I could be sleeping, but instead, I am up writing in a blog. I guess, I felt that she I have to give some much of myself all day to her, that when she is asleep, it's finally my time to do the things I enjoy, such as watching television, checking on my Facebook, working on my business, www.onelilsnap.com, etc. I know it frustrates my husband, but he just doesn't understand how important this time is for me. It's truly the differences between my sanity and as my friend says, "slitting my wrist."
Faith generally only sleep 10 hours at night and take a 1.5-3 hours nap. Everything related to sleep in a struggle in our household. The process of getting ready to go to bed, the selection of stories for the night, the made up story time, when lights go out, how she gets to sleep, etc. It is getting easier now that she is a little older, but it isn't as effortless as most of this parents, where then can read to their child, give them a kiss and say "goodnight, I love you, see you in the morning," walk out and there child is soundly asleep in about 10-15 minutes. Even in my wildest imagination, I can't see that happening for us.
We have tried so many different arrangements for sleep, since crying it out is not an option for us. Remember, vomiting, well, my daughter has the super power of vomiting when she cries too long. There are still nasty stains her bed, that no matter what, we can't get out. I have slept on a separate mattress in her room, slept with her on that mattress, slept with her in our room, slept with her on the couch while the tv is on, etc. She always sleep better when she sleeps with me, but the problem is, I can't sleep with her. I am so acutely aware of her when I'm next to her. I wake up from every stir and sounds she makes. The worst part is that she used to tug on my hair. I was her comfort item. Most kids have teddy bears or blankies, my daughter had my hair. When ever she needed comfort, she would tug on my hair. It wasn't a big deal when she was a baby, it was actually so cute, that's why I let her do it in the first place, but as she got older and stronger, it would hurt so much. Thank you to my wonderful husband, we finally just broke that habit. Occasionally she would still want to do it, but we have to remind her she couldn't pull. She is allowed to caresses my head.
It seems like any time we got a method down for sleep and she would go ten hours, something always interrupted it. Either teething, which I swears last for a few months for each tooth, or illness, or nightmares, or travel. She is so sensitive to everything that the smallest thing that isn't noticed by other children, bothers her so much that it would disrupt her sleep. For example, she still has to wear a onesie to bed because if she doesn't, when she moves in her sleep with her diaper, it rubs her funny and she will wake up screaming.
I know it seems like it's all negative, but being highly sensitive isn't all bad. She is such an amazing child and I'll spend the next post on that.
Sorry it's so long, I'm a rambler, once I get started, I don't know how to end things.
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