I'm working on so many posts right now and it just seems like I never have the time to finish them. I over think everything before I actually publish the post so it takes me so much time to get them out. I'm working on the post of strategies we're trying with Faith that has been working really well and I will get that one posted as quickly as I can. Here is a list of website I've been using to get helpful information on high sensitivity for kids and adults:
Raising Smart Girls
I got a few of these site from Raising Smart Girls and it's a lot more organized on her site. For a more expansive list, especially on giftedness, check out her site. These are the ones I usually refer to.
Mika Gustavson, MFT ¦ Adult, Child and Family Therapy
High Sensitivity
Dr. Ted Zeff
The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company
Jenna Avery's Art of Sensitive Living Community Forum
About.com:Gifted Children
Hoagie's Gifted Education Page
Education.com: Raising a Sensitive Child
Mothering.com: Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child
Sensory Processing Disorder
altmd.com: private or public school for the highly sensitive child?
They are not in any order.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
What a sweet and considerate little girl
Even though Faith has been with grandma a lot this week because I've had so many doctor appointments, she has been so great. All week, she only got upset once yesterday when I had to leave really early for the Stanford appointment and it was only because she woke up too early.
She is also wonderful with daddy this week. No struggles with bath time. Generally she wants me to go up with her and then I have to tell her that we're having a bath contest to see who would finish first, before she would let me go without a tantrum. They have been having so much fun. I love watching them interact. No one on this earth makes her laugh the way he does. She is daddy's little girl and she knows it too.
Today we had music class with one of our other friend. She was really excited because we haven't seen our friend in awhile. Faith treats M as a little sister. They are only four months apart, but Faith has always taken care of her. I used to baby sit M when she was a baby.
We went to pick up M at her daycare. It's the same daycare that Faith went to for four months. M is in a different room now, but we had a chance to visit their old room and Faith's favorite teacher was there. It was nice for Faith to see her teacher.
The girls were so excited to see each other. I love how they run into each other arms. Now they are talking, it's so cute to see how they interact with each other. M was telling us that she did in school today, and then Faith said, "then we picked you up," then M said, "yes, Faith." They are adorable.
Faith has always been so good at sharing her mommy with M. M's mommy calls me her second mom. Both girls sat on my lap during music class because M wants to do everything that Faith does. They are really like sister. We call them twins. M's daddy was sitting all by himself since both girls were on my lap. Faith got up and went to sit next to him. Then during music class when the teacher brought out the balls for one of our song, she grabbed three balls, one for me, one for M, and one for M's daddy. What a considerate little girl. After we got our balls, she went back for balls for herself. Then during the free time music session where the teacher dumps out a bunch for different instruments for the kids to just play, Faith saw that M's daddy didn't have an instrument and she went and grabbed one and handed it to him. She is so thoughtful and I'm so proud of her.
Ever since baby was a baby she has always been so great with sharing her food. At six months, she would feed us food. Then as she got older, she wouldn't eat her food until she handed one out to everyone else. Every parent works with their kids on sharing, but I never had to work too hard on it. She is also wonderful with other kids when they come over our house to play, she never has an issue with anyone playing with her toys, except when she is actually playing with it and they yank it out of her hands.
Everyone says she gets this from me and I'm so happy that is so kind and considerate, but I worry that she is going to be too much like me. I don't want her to always take care of other people without tending to her needs first. I definitely don't want her to be selfish, but being selfless isn't good either. It's just like the rules on the airplane, put on your air mask first before you put anyone else's on. I want her to always take care of herself first and then she can be considerate of everyone else. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn. I'm getting better at taking care of myself, but I should be doing it more.
She is also wonderful with daddy this week. No struggles with bath time. Generally she wants me to go up with her and then I have to tell her that we're having a bath contest to see who would finish first, before she would let me go without a tantrum. They have been having so much fun. I love watching them interact. No one on this earth makes her laugh the way he does. She is daddy's little girl and she knows it too.
Today we had music class with one of our other friend. She was really excited because we haven't seen our friend in awhile. Faith treats M as a little sister. They are only four months apart, but Faith has always taken care of her. I used to baby sit M when she was a baby.
We went to pick up M at her daycare. It's the same daycare that Faith went to for four months. M is in a different room now, but we had a chance to visit their old room and Faith's favorite teacher was there. It was nice for Faith to see her teacher.
The girls were so excited to see each other. I love how they run into each other arms. Now they are talking, it's so cute to see how they interact with each other. M was telling us that she did in school today, and then Faith said, "then we picked you up," then M said, "yes, Faith." They are adorable.
Faith has always been so good at sharing her mommy with M. M's mommy calls me her second mom. Both girls sat on my lap during music class because M wants to do everything that Faith does. They are really like sister. We call them twins. M's daddy was sitting all by himself since both girls were on my lap. Faith got up and went to sit next to him. Then during music class when the teacher brought out the balls for one of our song, she grabbed three balls, one for me, one for M, and one for M's daddy. What a considerate little girl. After we got our balls, she went back for balls for herself. Then during the free time music session where the teacher dumps out a bunch for different instruments for the kids to just play, Faith saw that M's daddy didn't have an instrument and she went and grabbed one and handed it to him. She is so thoughtful and I'm so proud of her.
Ever since baby was a baby she has always been so great with sharing her food. At six months, she would feed us food. Then as she got older, she wouldn't eat her food until she handed one out to everyone else. Every parent works with their kids on sharing, but I never had to work too hard on it. She is also wonderful with other kids when they come over our house to play, she never has an issue with anyone playing with her toys, except when she is actually playing with it and they yank it out of her hands.
Everyone says she gets this from me and I'm so happy that is so kind and considerate, but I worry that she is going to be too much like me. I don't want her to always take care of other people without tending to her needs first. I definitely don't want her to be selfish, but being selfless isn't good either. It's just like the rules on the airplane, put on your air mask first before you put anyone else's on. I want her to always take care of herself first and then she can be considerate of everyone else. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn. I'm getting better at taking care of myself, but I should be doing it more.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My Independent Faith
So proud of my baby today! She did such a great job at preschool. It was our first official day at our parent participation preschool. February is dinosaur themed and Faith loves dinosaurs so she was very excited to go to school today.
However, early mornings are always hard for us because Faith usually sleeps late. For the last few days she slept at midnight, so yesterday I had to interrupt her nap so that she would sleep earlier last night. She slept at 11pm last night, but it would have been earlier if she didn't fall asleep for about 10 minutes on the way home from great grandma's house. Although it was only a 10 minutes nap, it kept her up for another five hours. I'm so jealous of these other mommies when I hear that their kid can wake up from a nap at 5pm and still go down at 8pm. You have to always add about six hours on to whenever Faith wakes up from her nap. Anyways, it took her awhile to get up this morning which gave me some time to load the car and get her dvd player ready. She usually has breakfast with the tv on. It helps her relax and eases her into the day. Since I was rushing her this morning, I wanted to make it was relaxing as possible for her.
Since I wanted to give her the extra few minutes of sleep this morning, she had to have her breakfast in the car. She usually doesn't eat much this way, but it's better than rushing her while she eats at home and then having to deal with a tantrum because we have to stop watching to leave.
She was very excited when we got to school and she saw two dinosaurs at the door. She loves dinosaurs, especially herbivores, because of Dinosaur Train on PBS. It's a great program and there's a great herbivore song called, Hungry Hungry Herbivore. She loves singing the song and asking for a leafwich.
When we got it, there were dinosaur activities everywhere. She went straight to a sorting game and started sorting it into ice tray using tongs. Afterward we did some art using foam stickers. She wanted a picture of a herbivore, so I gave her a triceratops. Then she grab the plants so the triceratops can eat. She was also excited when the teacher showed her, her cubbie so that she can store her pictures and personal belongings.
After she put her picture into her cubbie, she ran over to her favorite room, the dramatic play area. The school has this cool loft that has office equipment. She always say she is like daddy because daddy's office is upstairs in the loft too. Another favorite activity is for us to dress up like Woody and Jessie from Toy Story. They have cowboy hats and the horse on the stick. She loves to ride on the horse, and then lift and swing her hat and yell, "Yeeeha!"
Then she wanted to go outside and play dinosaur excavation. She had a great time digging for the dinosaur bones. Five minutes is about her limit with most activities. Then we moved to another art project. She made two dinosaurs, a triceratops and a t-rex with glue and glitter, rice, sand, and noodle. After finishing both activities she ran to the sand pit and took off her crocs to play in the sand. She used to hate the sand before we went to Hawaii, but now she loves playing it in as long as her shoes are off. She doesn't like the rubbing of the sand on her feet when her shoes are on. I love that she doesn't care about playing in the sand. Also I'm getting better at letting her just enjoy herself without the need of brushing off sand on her. Yeah, I still need to work on the getting dirty.
She was excited when the circle time bell rang. She loves circle time, always has. Although this is our first formal preschool, she has a lot of experience with circle/story time. We started doing music class when she was six months. She also does gym class. We try to make story time every Wednesday at our public library. We have also did a community class once a week for an hour and for a few months this past summer, we did preschool at our house with a couple of our mommy group friends.
The kids got to wear dinosaurs mask and march to "We are the Dinosaurs." Faith didn't wear it on her face, but she did put it on her head. The teacher brought out different types of bones for the kids. She didn't care for the coyote skull, but she liked the smaller bones.
Then it was snack time. The snack mom was so clever, she cut dinosaur shaped sandwiches (bread, turkey, and cheese). I'm going to have to buy some more cookie cutters. Such a cute idea. Although Faith only ate the cheese and turkey.
After snack, I wanted to prepare Faith because although it was our first official day, I had bathroom duty. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't want to play on her own while I was cleaning the bathrooms, but I didn't have to worry I think since this is our third time here and she knows exactly where I'm at, if she needs me, she was comfortable to go explore on her own.
I'm so proud of my little girl!
She played in the areas when she could still check in on me for awhile and then she got bored and asked to go outside on her own. Of course, I enthusiastically said yes. After I finished, I went outside and saw her playing happily with the teacher and a few other kids. They were taking turns walking up a ramp. I can't even express how happy I am to see her so independent and socialize with others.
This parent participation preschool is such a great idea and I really do wished we started earlier. It's helping both of us, because I can relax a lot more as well because all the parents are wonderful at our class. They are very good about making sure their child plays gently and take turns. That is another issue for us. Most kids are a lot more aggressive than Faith and she will never fight back. She is getting better at not letting others grab things from her. We used to have to give her pep talks about telling other kids no and pulling back if people grab her toys.
Faith got to ring the bell for our second circle time. She was very excited about that as well. After listening to the teacher read and singing our goodbye song, she even ran up to give the teacher a hug.
The best part is that she doesn't want to leave. That's such a great sign. I let her run outside for awhile with the other kids and one of the daddy. She had a great time although she fell and got her stocking dirty. She was about to stress over the dirty, but I had to talk her and myself down. "It's just dirt, it's okay, we can wash it when we get home."
What a great day we had! I'm also so proud of her for being such a big girl when I have to go to my physical therapist/therapist/acupuncturist/doctor appointments. She knows and accept who will be home with her, gives me a hug and a kiss, and waves bye mommy, without shedding any tears. Well according to her, she said, "sometimes I still cry." What a big girl!
However, early mornings are always hard for us because Faith usually sleeps late. For the last few days she slept at midnight, so yesterday I had to interrupt her nap so that she would sleep earlier last night. She slept at 11pm last night, but it would have been earlier if she didn't fall asleep for about 10 minutes on the way home from great grandma's house. Although it was only a 10 minutes nap, it kept her up for another five hours. I'm so jealous of these other mommies when I hear that their kid can wake up from a nap at 5pm and still go down at 8pm. You have to always add about six hours on to whenever Faith wakes up from her nap. Anyways, it took her awhile to get up this morning which gave me some time to load the car and get her dvd player ready. She usually has breakfast with the tv on. It helps her relax and eases her into the day. Since I was rushing her this morning, I wanted to make it was relaxing as possible for her.
Since I wanted to give her the extra few minutes of sleep this morning, she had to have her breakfast in the car. She usually doesn't eat much this way, but it's better than rushing her while she eats at home and then having to deal with a tantrum because we have to stop watching to leave.
She was very excited when we got to school and she saw two dinosaurs at the door. She loves dinosaurs, especially herbivores, because of Dinosaur Train on PBS. It's a great program and there's a great herbivore song called, Hungry Hungry Herbivore. She loves singing the song and asking for a leafwich.
When we got it, there were dinosaur activities everywhere. She went straight to a sorting game and started sorting it into ice tray using tongs. Afterward we did some art using foam stickers. She wanted a picture of a herbivore, so I gave her a triceratops. Then she grab the plants so the triceratops can eat. She was also excited when the teacher showed her, her cubbie so that she can store her pictures and personal belongings.
After she put her picture into her cubbie, she ran over to her favorite room, the dramatic play area. The school has this cool loft that has office equipment. She always say she is like daddy because daddy's office is upstairs in the loft too. Another favorite activity is for us to dress up like Woody and Jessie from Toy Story. They have cowboy hats and the horse on the stick. She loves to ride on the horse, and then lift and swing her hat and yell, "Yeeeha!"
Then she wanted to go outside and play dinosaur excavation. She had a great time digging for the dinosaur bones. Five minutes is about her limit with most activities. Then we moved to another art project. She made two dinosaurs, a triceratops and a t-rex with glue and glitter, rice, sand, and noodle. After finishing both activities she ran to the sand pit and took off her crocs to play in the sand. She used to hate the sand before we went to Hawaii, but now she loves playing it in as long as her shoes are off. She doesn't like the rubbing of the sand on her feet when her shoes are on. I love that she doesn't care about playing in the sand. Also I'm getting better at letting her just enjoy herself without the need of brushing off sand on her. Yeah, I still need to work on the getting dirty.
She was excited when the circle time bell rang. She loves circle time, always has. Although this is our first formal preschool, she has a lot of experience with circle/story time. We started doing music class when she was six months. She also does gym class. We try to make story time every Wednesday at our public library. We have also did a community class once a week for an hour and for a few months this past summer, we did preschool at our house with a couple of our mommy group friends.
The kids got to wear dinosaurs mask and march to "We are the Dinosaurs." Faith didn't wear it on her face, but she did put it on her head. The teacher brought out different types of bones for the kids. She didn't care for the coyote skull, but she liked the smaller bones.
Then it was snack time. The snack mom was so clever, she cut dinosaur shaped sandwiches (bread, turkey, and cheese). I'm going to have to buy some more cookie cutters. Such a cute idea. Although Faith only ate the cheese and turkey.
After snack, I wanted to prepare Faith because although it was our first official day, I had bathroom duty. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't want to play on her own while I was cleaning the bathrooms, but I didn't have to worry I think since this is our third time here and she knows exactly where I'm at, if she needs me, she was comfortable to go explore on her own.
I'm so proud of my little girl!
She played in the areas when she could still check in on me for awhile and then she got bored and asked to go outside on her own. Of course, I enthusiastically said yes. After I finished, I went outside and saw her playing happily with the teacher and a few other kids. They were taking turns walking up a ramp. I can't even express how happy I am to see her so independent and socialize with others.
This parent participation preschool is such a great idea and I really do wished we started earlier. It's helping both of us, because I can relax a lot more as well because all the parents are wonderful at our class. They are very good about making sure their child plays gently and take turns. That is another issue for us. Most kids are a lot more aggressive than Faith and she will never fight back. She is getting better at not letting others grab things from her. We used to have to give her pep talks about telling other kids no and pulling back if people grab her toys.
Faith got to ring the bell for our second circle time. She was very excited about that as well. After listening to the teacher read and singing our goodbye song, she even ran up to give the teacher a hug.
The best part is that she doesn't want to leave. That's such a great sign. I let her run outside for awhile with the other kids and one of the daddy. She had a great time although she fell and got her stocking dirty. She was about to stress over the dirty, but I had to talk her and myself down. "It's just dirt, it's okay, we can wash it when we get home."
What a great day we had! I'm also so proud of her for being such a big girl when I have to go to my physical therapist/therapist/acupuncturist/doctor appointments. She knows and accept who will be home with her, gives me a hug and a kiss, and waves bye mommy, without shedding any tears. Well according to her, she said, "sometimes I still cry." What a big girl!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Update
I am so behind on my blogging. I have so many thoughts running through my head all the time. I have so many notes on topics I want to blog about, but once the moments pass it's so hard for me to get myself back on track. I'm going to try harder to schedule time for my blogging.
Since I'm making time right now, I'm going to give an update on what's going on. It's been a rough couple of weeks for me with the yucky weather. This rain and the time of the month has not helped my mood lately. The good thing is that I've kept pretty busy with Faith's schedule and all my doctor appointments that there isn't much time to think about how I am feeling.
Husband is so wonderful. He's one step ahead of me all the time, he ordered the sun lamp before I even had a chance to. I think I have slight seasonal affective disorder (SAD). For as long as I can remember, the winter seasons are always harder for me. Let's see if the lamp works. Also we should have a couple of sunny days before the rain returns so I'll try to pay attention to see if my mood improves.
Beside the weather, the sleep deprivation hasn't helped much for my mood or my body to recuperate. We're trying a lot of new things with Faith. Most of it has helped a lot and I have a separate post devoted to it. I will try to finish that post as soon as possible because that has a lot of helpful strategies. One of the new thing we're doing now is to have Faith on a separate bed next to our bed. I have no problem with the idea of sharing a bed with her, but I really can't sleep when she is next to me. I wake up constantly when she rolls into me. She also loves sharing my pillow and even using me as a pillow. It's been a rough couple of nights. She did the best the first night, she always does well the first night we try anything new. The second night, she woke up screaming and ended up back in our bed. This new bed is a little toddler bed and every time she moves around and bumps her head, she wakes up. She rolls a lot and ever since she was one she has slept on a full size bed so to adjust to a smaller bed has been hard for her. Last night, she rolled off the bed, ended up on the floor and then back on our bed. Then she was screaming off and on all night and woke up really early this morning. After our busy morning at preschool, we took a three hour nap.
Preschool is another change for us. I'm doing a parent participation preschool with her. She loves it so much! I wished I started this earlier, but better late than never. I'm even looking into parent participation elementary school for her in the future. I think with her sensitivity, this will be a good option for both of us. It lets her know that I'm there for her if she needs me. She is usually really bold once she is comfortable with the environment and the people in it.
I'm making more of an effort to reach out to my friends. Hubby does his best to support me, but I need more on a daily basis. I've always been very social and friends are very important to me. It's hard finding time now as a mom to see my friends or even talk to them. Faith has a difficult time when I'm on the phone so there isn't many opportunities for me to call all my friends and catch up with them. Facebook helps some because it's a quick way to see what all my friends are up to, but it's still not the same as face to face interaction. I had a few play date the last couple of weeks with allows me to hang out with the parents while Faith is playing with the kids. Even with other kids around, she still demands my attention. But some adult conversation is so much better than none.
I had a wonderful mothers night out last night with some of the moms from my mother group. We had a yummy dinner at Cheesecake Factory and great conversation. It's always so wonderful when I see these mommies. They are always so supportive and never judgemental. I always feel re-energize after seeing them.
I'm going to end this post here, baby is waking up again. I think she is teething tonight.
Since I'm making time right now, I'm going to give an update on what's going on. It's been a rough couple of weeks for me with the yucky weather. This rain and the time of the month has not helped my mood lately. The good thing is that I've kept pretty busy with Faith's schedule and all my doctor appointments that there isn't much time to think about how I am feeling.
Husband is so wonderful. He's one step ahead of me all the time, he ordered the sun lamp before I even had a chance to. I think I have slight seasonal affective disorder (SAD). For as long as I can remember, the winter seasons are always harder for me. Let's see if the lamp works. Also we should have a couple of sunny days before the rain returns so I'll try to pay attention to see if my mood improves.
Beside the weather, the sleep deprivation hasn't helped much for my mood or my body to recuperate. We're trying a lot of new things with Faith. Most of it has helped a lot and I have a separate post devoted to it. I will try to finish that post as soon as possible because that has a lot of helpful strategies. One of the new thing we're doing now is to have Faith on a separate bed next to our bed. I have no problem with the idea of sharing a bed with her, but I really can't sleep when she is next to me. I wake up constantly when she rolls into me. She also loves sharing my pillow and even using me as a pillow. It's been a rough couple of nights. She did the best the first night, she always does well the first night we try anything new. The second night, she woke up screaming and ended up back in our bed. This new bed is a little toddler bed and every time she moves around and bumps her head, she wakes up. She rolls a lot and ever since she was one she has slept on a full size bed so to adjust to a smaller bed has been hard for her. Last night, she rolled off the bed, ended up on the floor and then back on our bed. Then she was screaming off and on all night and woke up really early this morning. After our busy morning at preschool, we took a three hour nap.
Preschool is another change for us. I'm doing a parent participation preschool with her. She loves it so much! I wished I started this earlier, but better late than never. I'm even looking into parent participation elementary school for her in the future. I think with her sensitivity, this will be a good option for both of us. It lets her know that I'm there for her if she needs me. She is usually really bold once she is comfortable with the environment and the people in it.
I'm making more of an effort to reach out to my friends. Hubby does his best to support me, but I need more on a daily basis. I've always been very social and friends are very important to me. It's hard finding time now as a mom to see my friends or even talk to them. Faith has a difficult time when I'm on the phone so there isn't many opportunities for me to call all my friends and catch up with them. Facebook helps some because it's a quick way to see what all my friends are up to, but it's still not the same as face to face interaction. I had a few play date the last couple of weeks with allows me to hang out with the parents while Faith is playing with the kids. Even with other kids around, she still demands my attention. But some adult conversation is so much better than none.
I had a wonderful mothers night out last night with some of the moms from my mother group. We had a yummy dinner at Cheesecake Factory and great conversation. It's always so wonderful when I see these mommies. They are always so supportive and never judgemental. I always feel re-energize after seeing them.
I'm going to end this post here, baby is waking up again. I think she is teething tonight.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Coping Mechanisms
I have a post before this one on how wonderful our Christmas was this year, but it's so terrible how I always procrastinate on writing about the good things and not the bad. It's because writing this blog is a coping mechanism for me. This is why writing when I'm frustrated comes so much easier than when I'm happy. When all is good, I just enjoy the moment and I don't feel the need to record it.
So my therapist gave me a few coping mechanisms to help me with I am under a lot of stress, it's funny because I did most of these things when I was younger, but for whatever reasons, I don't do them anymore.
I'm starting to again. I used to journal when I was younger and of course, there was always more frustrating moments than positive ones. This blogging is really helping me. It helps not only to write my own blog, but also read others. I found a few great one, but my favorite by far is Raising Smart Girls. Casey is very resourceful, intelligent, and a fabulous writer. Besides all that, it seems like she is reading my mind because most of what she says is exactly how I feel about being a mother, both the rewards and internal struggles. She is just a lot more eloquent than I am with her words. Blogging is also helping me over come being so self conscious about my writing. I know I'm have a lot of spelling and grammar error and it seems to take a while for my point to get across, but as my therapist said, no one really cares. They might at the moment they are reading it, but who cares. This is for me! I'm sorry if my writing frustrates you, but it's okay, you get the gist of it.
Raising Smart Girls has tremedously helped me. Both with resources and my state of mind. Casey has given a lot of wonderful suggestions that I'm currently using and plan on using. She also makes me feel normal again, because all my thoughts about motherhood is shared by many others. It's just not something most mothers openly share.
My therapist also suggest dancing to loud music and singing at the top of my lungs. I remember doing both of these things when I was younger. When I used to be extremely stressed out in high school, I remember closing all the windows, turning my stereo up as loud as I could bare it, singing and dancing until whatever was bothering me would go away. Why don't I do that anymore? I should, my daughter would probably enjoy it. I wouldn't turn the stereo up as loud as I used to because it would bother both me and my daughter.
The breathing that she suggested to do is really helping. Taking deep breathes so that I fill my whole body. Also counting my inhalation and exhalation so that I focus on the breathing and not letting my brain wander. I usually do it when I'm putting Faith to sleep. It's usually so stressful for me because she goes to sleep so late, but that's part of my doing and choosing. She only sleeps 10 hours. If she went down early, she would wake up earlier. I'm not a morning person! Don't know how I woke up early to teach all those years. Faith usually sleep at between 10-11 pm. I know it's late, but I can't function before 8 am.
Since all the parties from the holidays and excitement from having Auntie home, she has been sleeping even later than that. Also she has been in our bed so I have to lay with her until she is completely asleep before I can sneak away. Auntie left back to Japan, but Faith is still in our bed because she is still teething. I swear, teething bothers her for months before an actual tooth comes out. She has been screaming in the middle of the night for the last few nights. This means sleep deprivation for me. This is also the reason for my impatience with her today. Besides having a difficult time sleep at night, Faith is also extremely clingy during the day. The best way to describe it is like having a leech on you. I know that is a terrible description, but it's true. She has to either be sitting next to me or held by me or walking with me where ever I go. Yes, even to the bathroom! I love her to death, but I also feeling like she is suffocating me. I know it will pass, she always goes through this cycle when she is not feeling well and when I'm not feeling well. It's so bad, since we are both sensitive, we feed off each other, in positive and negative ways. Thank goodness we only have two more molars to go.
My husband is so wonderful and he is going to sleep with Faith tonight so that I can have a night of restful sleep. I've sent him into her room so that he can get adequate rest for work. Tonight it's my turn. I'm also going to try the TempurPedic pillow husband got me for Christmas. Beside sleeping with her tonight, he got a bath ready for me after I put Faith to bed, with candles and the heater going in case the bathroom was too cold. I was too stressed to put Faith to bed because she does pick up on my mood which usually aggravates the situation. Daddy had to carry her and walk her around for a bit. She feel asleep almost right away on his shoulder because he was a lot more relaxed than I was tonight. It's wonderful how only one of us is frustrated with her at time. This way we are able to calm each other down. Usually it's daddy calming me down. He doesn't get worked up by much. Thank goodness for that. He is an incredible man! Faith and I are extremely lucky girls.
So my therapist gave me a few coping mechanisms to help me with I am under a lot of stress, it's funny because I did most of these things when I was younger, but for whatever reasons, I don't do them anymore.
I'm starting to again. I used to journal when I was younger and of course, there was always more frustrating moments than positive ones. This blogging is really helping me. It helps not only to write my own blog, but also read others. I found a few great one, but my favorite by far is Raising Smart Girls. Casey is very resourceful, intelligent, and a fabulous writer. Besides all that, it seems like she is reading my mind because most of what she says is exactly how I feel about being a mother, both the rewards and internal struggles. She is just a lot more eloquent than I am with her words. Blogging is also helping me over come being so self conscious about my writing. I know I'm have a lot of spelling and grammar error and it seems to take a while for my point to get across, but as my therapist said, no one really cares. They might at the moment they are reading it, but who cares. This is for me! I'm sorry if my writing frustrates you, but it's okay, you get the gist of it.
Raising Smart Girls has tremedously helped me. Both with resources and my state of mind. Casey has given a lot of wonderful suggestions that I'm currently using and plan on using. She also makes me feel normal again, because all my thoughts about motherhood is shared by many others. It's just not something most mothers openly share.
My therapist also suggest dancing to loud music and singing at the top of my lungs. I remember doing both of these things when I was younger. When I used to be extremely stressed out in high school, I remember closing all the windows, turning my stereo up as loud as I could bare it, singing and dancing until whatever was bothering me would go away. Why don't I do that anymore? I should, my daughter would probably enjoy it. I wouldn't turn the stereo up as loud as I used to because it would bother both me and my daughter.
The breathing that she suggested to do is really helping. Taking deep breathes so that I fill my whole body. Also counting my inhalation and exhalation so that I focus on the breathing and not letting my brain wander. I usually do it when I'm putting Faith to sleep. It's usually so stressful for me because she goes to sleep so late, but that's part of my doing and choosing. She only sleeps 10 hours. If she went down early, she would wake up earlier. I'm not a morning person! Don't know how I woke up early to teach all those years. Faith usually sleep at between 10-11 pm. I know it's late, but I can't function before 8 am.
Since all the parties from the holidays and excitement from having Auntie home, she has been sleeping even later than that. Also she has been in our bed so I have to lay with her until she is completely asleep before I can sneak away. Auntie left back to Japan, but Faith is still in our bed because she is still teething. I swear, teething bothers her for months before an actual tooth comes out. She has been screaming in the middle of the night for the last few nights. This means sleep deprivation for me. This is also the reason for my impatience with her today. Besides having a difficult time sleep at night, Faith is also extremely clingy during the day. The best way to describe it is like having a leech on you. I know that is a terrible description, but it's true. She has to either be sitting next to me or held by me or walking with me where ever I go. Yes, even to the bathroom! I love her to death, but I also feeling like she is suffocating me. I know it will pass, she always goes through this cycle when she is not feeling well and when I'm not feeling well. It's so bad, since we are both sensitive, we feed off each other, in positive and negative ways. Thank goodness we only have two more molars to go.
My husband is so wonderful and he is going to sleep with Faith tonight so that I can have a night of restful sleep. I've sent him into her room so that he can get adequate rest for work. Tonight it's my turn. I'm also going to try the TempurPedic pillow husband got me for Christmas. Beside sleeping with her tonight, he got a bath ready for me after I put Faith to bed, with candles and the heater going in case the bathroom was too cold. I was too stressed to put Faith to bed because she does pick up on my mood which usually aggravates the situation. Daddy had to carry her and walk her around for a bit. She feel asleep almost right away on his shoulder because he was a lot more relaxed than I was tonight. It's wonderful how only one of us is frustrated with her at time. This way we are able to calm each other down. Usually it's daddy calming me down. He doesn't get worked up by much. Thank goodness for that. He is an incredible man! Faith and I are extremely lucky girls.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wonderful Christmas
I don't know why it's taken me so long to finish this post. This will be my third and final attempt.
The whole family had a wonderful Christmas this year! Faith wasn't her full self because she is still teething, but she still had a wonderful time with our family and friends and of course, opening lots of gifts.
We started the holidays with a party at our friends house. I was a little weary at first because this is a house that doesn't have kids so we made sure to bring some of her books and toys with us. It took her a little bit of time to adjust at first but she warmed up really quickly. She went up and down the stairs with the other kids, had a great time looking at all the ornaments and Christmas decorations on their tree, and watching daddy and the guys play the Wii. Half way through the night we had to give her her binky (pacifier) because it started to get pretty loud and crowded at the house. One of the other mommy brought a Disney movie so that kept her occupied for a while. The cute thing she said that night was when we were about to have the gift exchange, I told her that we were about to open presents and she asked, "Is it Christmas already?" So cute. I've been telling her for weeks that she couldn't peek at her presents because it wasn't Christmas yet. I had to tell her that this was an exception.
Our second party was at one of the family that we met at our mommy's group. Most of her friends from the group was there. She did a great job playing by herself. I think she was a lot more comfortable with this group of adults because she is used to being around them. Also, they had a whole play room just for the kiddos. Considering how many kids there were in the room, they were all pretty tamed. I took her by myself to the party so that daddy can rest and usually when it's just me, she is extra clingy, but this time she was independently playing for most of the night. It was nice to be able to have adult conversation without a whining clinging toddler on me.
That was a busy weekend because the next day we had a wedding reception and then our long drive to Disneyland. Faith did okay at the reception. Luckily it was at a restaurant where there was an area for her to run around outside the restaurant. Refer to the "what a difference a year makes" for our Disneyland trip.
We made a great decision this year and moved our immediate family Christmas dinner to Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve. We usually have back to back dinner on Christmas Eve and it's just too hectic and too much food for one day that we end up not enjoying it as much as we should. This year, we finally got smarter! We went to my Uncle's house in Newark to have dinner with my extended family. It took Faith awhile to warm up. She doesn't see the family often enough for her to quickly warm up to them. The first hour she spent attached to me. Once she warmed up, she had a great time playing with her uncles and aunties. Of course, her favorite time is opening presents and then playing with everything.
My husband and I agreed that this was one of the best Christmas. The whole family slept in. We opened presents in our pajamas. Once again, Faith is extremely spoiled and got more than she needs. One of her favorite present is a bounce house from Grandma. Of course, we set it up right after we finished with presents. She loved it! It's big enough for me to jump with her as well. We spent most of our morning in it. She even had her snack in there. Then it was nap time. Faith and I both went down for a nap. The biggest reason it was so relaxing this year was because my mother in law did most of the cooking. Thank goodness for her. She is an incredible woman and I'm so grateful for such a wonderful mother in law. The only traditional food items we did this year was the ham and mashed potatoes. My mother in law made eggrolls and Vietnamese salad. We had a wonderful dinner and then we decided to go to the drive in to watch Princess and the Frog. We thought the movie was okay, but we enjoyed the experience.
Our last party for this holiday season was at our friend's house in Sacramento. I've been friends with most of these people since high school. It's wonderful how we have kept in touch for this long. It's also great that we every couple, but one has children. For the most part, Faith had a great time. I felt really bad because prior to going up, I told her that this was the house with the school bus. They have this awesome school bus that Faith loves to play with every time we are there. Except, I didn't know that they sold it. First thing she ask when we walked in was, "Where is the school bus?" She remembers things from months ago, let alone just two hours, so I wasn't surprise. She was really disappointed, but she survived. Luckily daddy is so much fun and was playing bear and bear cave with her and the other kids. I really appreciate my husband so much more at parties because he alway plays with her so that I get a chance to eat, relax, and catch up with my friends. He's also really popular with the other kids. Yet once again, she had a great time opening her present. Yes, she is a little spoiled. Okay, a lot spoiled. I think I'm living vaciously through her because I didn't have all that I wanted as a child.
It was a wonderful and stressful Christmas this year. It was great having Auntie home this year. She wasn't able to make it home last year and the holidays just isn't the same without her. Can't wait for next Christmas. It's mine and now, Faith's favorite time of year.
The whole family had a wonderful Christmas this year! Faith wasn't her full self because she is still teething, but she still had a wonderful time with our family and friends and of course, opening lots of gifts.
We started the holidays with a party at our friends house. I was a little weary at first because this is a house that doesn't have kids so we made sure to bring some of her books and toys with us. It took her a little bit of time to adjust at first but she warmed up really quickly. She went up and down the stairs with the other kids, had a great time looking at all the ornaments and Christmas decorations on their tree, and watching daddy and the guys play the Wii. Half way through the night we had to give her her binky (pacifier) because it started to get pretty loud and crowded at the house. One of the other mommy brought a Disney movie so that kept her occupied for a while. The cute thing she said that night was when we were about to have the gift exchange, I told her that we were about to open presents and she asked, "Is it Christmas already?" So cute. I've been telling her for weeks that she couldn't peek at her presents because it wasn't Christmas yet. I had to tell her that this was an exception.
Our second party was at one of the family that we met at our mommy's group. Most of her friends from the group was there. She did a great job playing by herself. I think she was a lot more comfortable with this group of adults because she is used to being around them. Also, they had a whole play room just for the kiddos. Considering how many kids there were in the room, they were all pretty tamed. I took her by myself to the party so that daddy can rest and usually when it's just me, she is extra clingy, but this time she was independently playing for most of the night. It was nice to be able to have adult conversation without a whining clinging toddler on me.
That was a busy weekend because the next day we had a wedding reception and then our long drive to Disneyland. Faith did okay at the reception. Luckily it was at a restaurant where there was an area for her to run around outside the restaurant. Refer to the "what a difference a year makes" for our Disneyland trip.
We made a great decision this year and moved our immediate family Christmas dinner to Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve. We usually have back to back dinner on Christmas Eve and it's just too hectic and too much food for one day that we end up not enjoying it as much as we should. This year, we finally got smarter! We went to my Uncle's house in Newark to have dinner with my extended family. It took Faith awhile to warm up. She doesn't see the family often enough for her to quickly warm up to them. The first hour she spent attached to me. Once she warmed up, she had a great time playing with her uncles and aunties. Of course, her favorite time is opening presents and then playing with everything.
My husband and I agreed that this was one of the best Christmas. The whole family slept in. We opened presents in our pajamas. Once again, Faith is extremely spoiled and got more than she needs. One of her favorite present is a bounce house from Grandma. Of course, we set it up right after we finished with presents. She loved it! It's big enough for me to jump with her as well. We spent most of our morning in it. She even had her snack in there. Then it was nap time. Faith and I both went down for a nap. The biggest reason it was so relaxing this year was because my mother in law did most of the cooking. Thank goodness for her. She is an incredible woman and I'm so grateful for such a wonderful mother in law. The only traditional food items we did this year was the ham and mashed potatoes. My mother in law made eggrolls and Vietnamese salad. We had a wonderful dinner and then we decided to go to the drive in to watch Princess and the Frog. We thought the movie was okay, but we enjoyed the experience.
Our last party for this holiday season was at our friend's house in Sacramento. I've been friends with most of these people since high school. It's wonderful how we have kept in touch for this long. It's also great that we every couple, but one has children. For the most part, Faith had a great time. I felt really bad because prior to going up, I told her that this was the house with the school bus. They have this awesome school bus that Faith loves to play with every time we are there. Except, I didn't know that they sold it. First thing she ask when we walked in was, "Where is the school bus?" She remembers things from months ago, let alone just two hours, so I wasn't surprise. She was really disappointed, but she survived. Luckily daddy is so much fun and was playing bear and bear cave with her and the other kids. I really appreciate my husband so much more at parties because he alway plays with her so that I get a chance to eat, relax, and catch up with my friends. He's also really popular with the other kids. Yet once again, she had a great time opening her present. Yes, she is a little spoiled. Okay, a lot spoiled. I think I'm living vaciously through her because I didn't have all that I wanted as a child.
It was a wonderful and stressful Christmas this year. It was great having Auntie home this year. She wasn't able to make it home last year and the holidays just isn't the same without her. Can't wait for next Christmas. It's mine and now, Faith's favorite time of year.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Bizarre Behaviors
It's 1:32am and I can't get myself back to sleep. Faith woke up again in one of her crying fit. Not sure what's wrong. When she is like this, we can't get her to tell us what's bothering her. I think she is teething and I should have given her some Tylenol before bed.
I had her in our bed tonight. She started having a running nose at the playdate today, but she didn't have a temperature, so I'm figuring she's teething. She didn't look so good and she was congested so I figured it's just easier to have her sleep with her from the beginning versus waking me up at three when she wanders into our room. She has been wandering in around three for the last few days. Actually she has been coming in every day since we have been back from Disneyland. It's our post traveling adjustment time, plus Auntie is here. Faith is so sensitive to noise when she is sleeping and although Auntie is not loud, she still wakes up when she hears the slightest noise from downstairs.
She just sat up crying and I asked her what was bothering her, but she continued to cry. So I got up and held her to try to calm her down. I was successful at first, but then I told her that I had to go pee and that I would set her down for just a second. This just got her so upset and she starting crying louder. I decided to take her to the bathroom with me because I had to pee badly. I sat her on the stool as she continued crying. She lost her pacifier for a second and cried louder until I finally finished and scoped her up to walk her around. We used to do this a lot when she was a baby. I was successful in calming her down, but now instead of peacefully sleeping, I'm up writing this post. I figured writing my feelings down will calm me down enough to get me back to sleep. My therapist says that writing in a journal is just as good as going to therapy. Let's see if she is right.
Faith has been acting bizarre lately. I think it's a combination of teething and having Auntie around. She loves her Auntie and I'm so glad that Auntie came home to visit from Japan. She is here for two weeks and will be leaving on Sunday. I'm sure it's going to be rough for Faith then. It's so cute how she follows her Auntie around and hangs on every word that Auntie says. She idolize her and it's so cute to see their interaction. Faith doesn't get attach too many people so it's wonderful to see her attach to someone else beside myself. However because she is so attach, she wouldn't even eat when Auntie is around. She runs around like crazy and acts really silly. It's like she is putting on a show for Auntie. Also when Auntie's friends come around, she is even more intense.
The other night, she had three grown adults playing ring around the Rosie's and spinning around on the floor. It was the funniest sight. It was great for my husband and I to watch because she rarely acts like this in front of other people besides us. After calming from our laughing fit, my husband made a comment that made me reflect. He said, "it's great to watch her, but makes me realize how exhausting it is to take care of her." She does require a lot of our energy and we go out of our way to out of our way to entertain her.
All this adult interaction is making her forget how to play with kids her age. During the last two playdates, she has been really withdrawn. I think it's just been so overwhelming for her. Instead of playing with the other kids, she just wants her binky and lay with her head on my lap. At yesterdays playdate, she wanted to just watch tv while her friends were all playing. I used to fight this behavior, but now I let her do it because I know she needs to. I used to feel embarrassed that she wouldn't play with everyone else, but I'm get better at accept her for her. I'm not going to push her if she's not ready. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't continue to encourage her to play, but it helps not to feel ashamed and making her feel bad for it as well.
It's going to be interesting to see how she is when Auntie leaves back to Japan. It will be a future post.
I had her in our bed tonight. She started having a running nose at the playdate today, but she didn't have a temperature, so I'm figuring she's teething. She didn't look so good and she was congested so I figured it's just easier to have her sleep with her from the beginning versus waking me up at three when she wanders into our room. She has been wandering in around three for the last few days. Actually she has been coming in every day since we have been back from Disneyland. It's our post traveling adjustment time, plus Auntie is here. Faith is so sensitive to noise when she is sleeping and although Auntie is not loud, she still wakes up when she hears the slightest noise from downstairs.
She just sat up crying and I asked her what was bothering her, but she continued to cry. So I got up and held her to try to calm her down. I was successful at first, but then I told her that I had to go pee and that I would set her down for just a second. This just got her so upset and she starting crying louder. I decided to take her to the bathroom with me because I had to pee badly. I sat her on the stool as she continued crying. She lost her pacifier for a second and cried louder until I finally finished and scoped her up to walk her around. We used to do this a lot when she was a baby. I was successful in calming her down, but now instead of peacefully sleeping, I'm up writing this post. I figured writing my feelings down will calm me down enough to get me back to sleep. My therapist says that writing in a journal is just as good as going to therapy. Let's see if she is right.
Faith has been acting bizarre lately. I think it's a combination of teething and having Auntie around. She loves her Auntie and I'm so glad that Auntie came home to visit from Japan. She is here for two weeks and will be leaving on Sunday. I'm sure it's going to be rough for Faith then. It's so cute how she follows her Auntie around and hangs on every word that Auntie says. She idolize her and it's so cute to see their interaction. Faith doesn't get attach too many people so it's wonderful to see her attach to someone else beside myself. However because she is so attach, she wouldn't even eat when Auntie is around. She runs around like crazy and acts really silly. It's like she is putting on a show for Auntie. Also when Auntie's friends come around, she is even more intense.
The other night, she had three grown adults playing ring around the Rosie's and spinning around on the floor. It was the funniest sight. It was great for my husband and I to watch because she rarely acts like this in front of other people besides us. After calming from our laughing fit, my husband made a comment that made me reflect. He said, "it's great to watch her, but makes me realize how exhausting it is to take care of her." She does require a lot of our energy and we go out of our way to out of our way to entertain her.
All this adult interaction is making her forget how to play with kids her age. During the last two playdates, she has been really withdrawn. I think it's just been so overwhelming for her. Instead of playing with the other kids, she just wants her binky and lay with her head on my lap. At yesterdays playdate, she wanted to just watch tv while her friends were all playing. I used to fight this behavior, but now I let her do it because I know she needs to. I used to feel embarrassed that she wouldn't play with everyone else, but I'm get better at accept her for her. I'm not going to push her if she's not ready. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't continue to encourage her to play, but it helps not to feel ashamed and making her feel bad for it as well.
It's going to be interesting to see how she is when Auntie leaves back to Japan. It will be a future post.
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