Great Parenting Tips, especially for Terrible Threes

From Taking the Lid off the Sun, Alexis had a great post called, "The Quirky Crystal Child – Ten parenting tips I’m learning the hard way"

It's the perfect post for the kind of week I've been having. The Terrible Threes SUCKS! What is going on with my well mannered, matured, delightful child? Faith's tantrums this week has been ridiculous. It's so bad on Monday, that my best friend even had nightmares all night that her darling daughter is going to turn into this scary three year old monster in 4 months. My best friend has never seen Faith act like this.

We were at Happy Hollow and Faith insisted in taking the seat belt off for herself on one of the rides. I am usually very good about giving her time to figure things out on her own. This time, I knew she wouldn't be able to do it because it was even hard for me when I first tried it. While she was screaming, I did step back for a second for her to try, but saw that she couldn't do it and had to intervene. I know this part shouldn't matter, but it did, we were the last person still on the ride and there was a line waiting to get on. I'm generally very aware of my environment and didn't want people waiting on us. I told Faith it was too difficult and I had to do it for her. And that was it.......screaming and kicking and yelling...and there was nothing I can say or do to calm her down. I can't remember now how I finally got her to calm down, but afterward, she was so stubborn that she requested to go home and not go on anymore rides.

That night we had a discussion about her tantrums and she told me that she "would have done it if only you gave me a couple more minutes." I asked her if I usually let her do things on her own that I know she is capable of doing and she answered yes. I told her I did it this time because it was just too difficult for her. Then she referred back to similar situation, "remember when M and I did it ourselves last time." This last time was a few months ago and it was on a similar ride at Gilroy Gardens. I had to remind her that it was a different situation and for her to remember that I did let her do it last time because I knew she would be able to do it. Anyways, we came up with a compromise that I would give her a few minutes uninterrupted time for her to try it on her own and then I would have to do it for her. I know, I will appreciate this independence and self assertion when she is older. I love that she has such self confidence that she thinks she can do it all, but it's the tantrums of either not being able to do it or not letting me help her that is driving me crazy.

There was another tantrum at the mall today because the sales lady told her the high heel shoes were too big for her and that she can hurt herself. I saw it coming this time, but I wasn't able to prevent it. I had to get in her face today and talked her down. I asked if she was embarrassed by the sale lady and that seem to stop her in her tracks. I then told her that she needs to ask to have a private conversation with me and we can work out a solution versus her just going crazy. I then explained to her that she might think she can walk in those shoes, but they really are too big for her and the sales lady just didn't want to see her get hurt. I asked her, if she would like, she can try it on again, but she would have to hold on to me if she wanted to walk in them. She agreed to my conditions and that seemed to work. Thank goodness.

I'm not good at handling tantrums because I get so easily riled up by her and it's so hard for me to get myself calm, let alone trying to calm her down. I found these great tips on Alexis' site and you can read the full description on her post.

Here's the 10 tips:
1 Get rhythm
Generally, I'm really good about this one, but there's always room for improvement.
2 Balance brain chemistry
We got to work on this one. Both she and her daddy are sugar addicts.
3 Meditate
I have to do this more.
4 Clean your own (energetic) messes
This one is a tough one for me. I know Faith picks up my negative energy.
5 Accentuate the positive
I think I'm going to use this blog for my daily gratitude journal.
6 Establish routines and predictability
I need help with this one. I personally get so bored with routines. I'm more of a "let's see what I'm in the mood for" kind of person.
7 Use leverage
I love her terminology for this one. We use leverage a lot.
8 Assign chores
Thank goodness Faith loves to help out. She can work on the cleaning up her toys chores, but otherwise she is such a great helper.
9 Stay neutral
Another tough one for me.
10 Have a sense of humor
Thank goodness for daddy. He has a great sense of humor and it's contagious. She's actually really funny too. I try too as well.

I'm going to work on these tips and see what happens.